We all get sick of sand in our shoes...

But we call all agree on one thing, tans fade, highlights get dark, and we all get sick of sand in our shoes…

As much as I would like to pretend it away, my biggest confession on this trip would be that I have now become addicted to Gossip Girl! Juan downloaded a few episodes to keep me entertained on our long bus rides and now although I don’t even like the darn show I find myself wanting to see each and every episode. Im not even going to justify my terrible new taste in junk television but I will say the quotes they come up with send me into hysterics sometimes. Take the above for example, oh how I love it. And for once I found myself relating, it was one of those “im not laughing at you, im laughing with you” situations (which is a rarity when I watch the show).

So with that being said I am indeed getting sick of sand in my shoes, literally and figuratively.

Didn’t some wise old man once say everything must come to an end? I guess for me that is true, my travels although not over (ever) must come to an end for now. I am ready to go home, I am ready to unpack my bag and live out of a closet rather than a backpack. I am ready to have my own clean bed to crawl into every night, to have my dog curl up beside me while a read a book on my comfy couch. I am ready to drive to Tim Hortons and eat fresh salad every day, I am ready to smell clean air and call my friends in the same time zone on my own phone. I am ready to spend time with my family again and build a little home for myself.

There is a part of me that could travel forever. Especially if I had a family I could just be on the move to a new country all the time but right now I need a little calmness. I went away to travel and relax and the ironic part is I now want to go home to wind down…and I like that. My goodness, in the past six months I have been to India, Canada, Spain (three times), France (twice), Germany, Italy, Thailand, Cambodia, and Malaysia, and I am still heading off to see another two or three countries. Traveling gives me this beautiful world, it opens my eyes, and brings such a light into my life. I become ignited with a passion to see more, do more, and meet new people. I become more still in life and more grateful for the many blessings I have been given. But for the first time in many years I have also become homesick, I miss my world I have left behind and I am reminded that my life is not beautiful simply because it is, it is beautiful because I choose to make it that way no matter where I am.

So with that being said I have decided to come home. I really wanted to stay at least a few more months in Asia and I wanted to try and work over here just to give it a shot and see what it is like. The thought though of not being with my family for Christmas made me sad, it is too important to me. It was going to be a surprise for my parents as one of their Christmas gifts but with my big mouth I knew it would just be too hard. So Mom and Dad, surprise, one more month and you will be listening to my never ending sarcasm and bantering, and wondering when the heck my next adventure will be; I cant wait to see you guys soon, love you!

Short and sweet Malaysia

So Malaysia turned out to be quite the adventure for us…or should I say lack thereof. This really is a beautiful country and I was in love with all the green beauty from the moment I arrived. We landed in Kuala Lumpur and have spent the majority of our time here; it is so much different from anywhere I have been yet in Asia. There are magnificent skyscrapers that cover the skyline, there are the biggest malls I have seen in my life with any high-end store you could imagine, and comparatively it is an exceptionally clean place. And talk about a mix of cultures which so wonderfully intertwine. Malaysia is filled with Malays, Indians, Islamic, and Chinese people which combines to make such a lively and interesting place to be. I really really liked the city and wished I could have spent more time going about Malaysia but unfortunately it didn’t work out that way.

We arrived on a Wednesday, spent the next day settling in and then on Friday we went to the Chinese embassy to get our visas done. Unfortunately they needed more paper work than was listed on the website so we were sent home and told to come back on Monday. This put a bit of a damper on our plans as we were hoping to get away for a few days. Saturday Juan ended up being sick so we couldn’t go anywhere and then Sunday we escaped for a day trip to Melaka. Monday we went in to get our visas done, Tuesday was another sick day (for both of us this time), then Wednesday when we went to leave to the rainforest for a few days we realized that our flight did not actually leave on Sunday like we thought but on Friday morning instead. Uggg, so annoying! This meant that we had to cancel our trip to the rainforest so we could pick up our visas early Thursday morning and leave the following day. So yeah, the trip was pretty much a bust. Between being sick and getting our Chinese visas we were not able to do much of anything. I am still glad we were able to make it here but it really is unfortunate we were not able to see more of the country.

What we did see though was beautiful. I think this is the greenest place that I have been to in my life. Everywhere you look it is covered in lush forest with incredible plants and flowers, and there are rolling hills and big valleys all around, even in the city. We went to Melaka for a day and I loved the place. It was really cute and small yet still really lively and there was a ton of history and things to do. Ninie set us up with some of her friends and we had such a great time with them. It was really nice for me cause they were both from Canada (Jordon from Winnipeg who moved to Malaysia and Bruce from Toronto who moved to Singapore). It was great to be able to talk about home and what we miss, especially when it came to the food! They showed us around brought us to a temple, a mosque, the market, St Pauls Church where the St Francis Xavier was buried originally, and we even went to a traditional tea ceremony which was so nice and enjoyable. The day was great, the company was better, and to think we only got a taste of what Malaysia has to offer.

A friend of Juans hooked us up with his old flatmate from when he was living here for us to stay with. From our first email introduction to Ninie she was one of those delicious people who is so nice you don’t even know how to respond. Without knowing us Ninie and her roommate Anna welcomed us into their beautiful home and invited us to make it our own for a few days. Ninie and her boyfriend Faroq took us to some wonderful restaurants, they spoiled us with wonderful evenings out in KL, and they graciously opened their lives up to us in such a beautiful way. Oh and since Ninie is a fabulous yoga instructor here with her own studio BeYoga, she even had us bending and stretching in ways that my newly plump-too-much-Asian-food body was not quite ready for. One of my favorite parts about traveling is getting to meet all these new people, to have new friends come into your life and add something a little extra special to your world, Ninie, Anna, and Faroq definitely did that during this trip.

So Malaysia although short and simple was a very nice trip. I hope to someday come back here and discover these lands more but for now I am off to China to see what may be in store for me there.

Pai, Chiang Mai, and a Thailand goodbye!

This week was a really good time. Juan and I finally made it to the North of Thailand where we were able to move away from the hustle and bustle of the big city and settle into some calmer cities and towns. First we went to Chiang Mai which was a really great place and then after that we went to Pai.

Pai was an amazing little town, it was just what I needed actually. The drive was absolutely insane, I have never seen more jagged and winedy roads and with every sharp turn my stomach knotted up and I envisioned spraying the mini bus with a little treat from my tummy. Actually much to my embarrassment I will admit the drive made me have my first breakdown as I crawled out of the bus and started crying in frustration with the drive and how sick I felt. On the upside, Pai is in the mountains with incredible scenery and fresh air where you could finally smell the color green! The town itself was small; it was easy to walk in a half an hour, no long bus rides, no waiting for motos, no honking or traffic, just a nice stroll through the town. It was very much a little hippy art town. As always the roads were lined with vendors and markets but this time most of the markets were art, crafts, homemade village items, or photography. The streets were filled with great music (finally no Jack Johnson which everyone seems to play here) and the vibe was just really chill. Pai allowed us to once again be lazy for a while, to bum around town not doing much of anything, and to make the days biggest goal finding a delicious fruit shake.

Chiang Mai was also a lot of fun. We were very lucky because although we didn’t plan it or even know about it, we ended up being around in one of the best places to celebrate the Loi Krathong festival (festival of lights). For two days the sound of firecrackers filled the air every evening and the night sky was light up with beautiful “krathongs” (they are like paper hot air balloons or lanterns that float up into the sky). They also set afloat thousands of banana leaf floats down the river, filled with beautiful flowers, candles, and incents. When asking some of the Thais what the meaning of the festival was many people gave different answers, some believed it was an offering to Buddha, some believed you were supposed to let all the negative in your life go as you released your float or lantern, and some believed it was their way of apologizing to the river for polluting and stealing the water. Whatever the meaning you choose to follow the ceremony was beautiful and it made the city a delightful sight for those few days.

Thailand is now coming to a close for us. We are off of Malaysia in two days but I am already sad to say goodbye to this beautiful country. Thailand was a great place to travel too. The people are so friendly and respectful and no matter where I traveled I always felt safe. The food is cheap and delicious, the shopping is absolutely fabulous (even though I literally did not buy one thing). There are actually a lot of things I will really miss about here, even things I never did. I wasn’t a big fan of the sugar on everything but I thought it was cute and it made me smile when I sat down to the table. Sugar is a must here and everything is sweetened. Milk is sweet like juice, rather than salt on their corn they put a few teaspoons of sugar, and on every restaurant table you will find both white and brown sugar that goes overtop of every meal including soup. I will miss the amazing Thai massages and the ability to walk to any street corner and get pampered and spoiled without spending more than five dollars. I will miss the most delicious salad and apple dressings that I have ever tasted. Although I complain about it now I may even miss the sound of falling asleep to howling dogs and firecrackers filling the night air. Oh and I will definitely miss all the 7-11’s that literally flood the streets and provide me with the convenience and deliciousness of fountain ovaltines and processed banana bread. Ahhh Ill miss it all! In Thailand we have spent just over a month all together and it became a love of mine, im excited to move on but I am going to miss this place a lot!

Elephant Madness!

The other day Juan and I decided to do our first big activity and we went elephant riding in Pai. Wow, it was so much fun! I have ridden an elephant in India before but I wanted to try riding bareback and be able to spend some time playing with the elephants which is something I have never done. The great thing about Thailand is that they love to sell you things that you want; their goal is to have good business, for you to enjoy and come back again. We found a company that was willing to take us out by ourselves (rather than in a big group) on our own elephant and essentially do whatever we want for a really great price, they even brought along our own guy who took pictures and videotaped the whole thing.

We decided that rather than going through the jungle we would head over to the river and play in the water with the elephants. Such a good decision! We were able to see some of the jungle anyway when we were walking to the river. The walk was beautiful, the views of the town and the landscape were painfully pretty, and riding an elephant bareback was a lot of fun. It didn’t take us long though before our butts were thanking us for not doing the whole half-day trip through the jungle, the spine of the elephant and huge muscles were almost unbearable on our bottoms by the time we arrived (actually three days later our legs and bums and still hurting).
When we got to the river we walked around for a bit and enjoyed the scenery some more and then it was time to play! Our elephant was a blast, he would sit down in the water and slide us off his back, he would stand up tall and playfully shake us off until we went flying into the water, he also would fill his trunk with water and give us a nice shower or spay us really hard until we would almost fall off again. For almost an hour this continued. When we would fall into the water he would turn sideways to stop the strong current from dragging us away too far and then he would get really low so we could crawl up onto his back. He also let us crawl up his trunk and ride on his head, he would bend down really low, stick his trunk out for us to put our feet on and then as we climbed he would slowly lift us up until we made it to the top. The whole thing was so exhilarating!

At one point when he shook me into the water, I fell off and the current guided me underneath our elephant. I couldn’t get out because his legs were blocking me and the current was too strong. Naturally he started lying down expecting me to crawl back on top of him. As he began to lie on top of me his belly crushed my head for maybe the shortest second of my life the only sound I could hear was my own neck cracking under the water. It was the first and only time in my life where I have ever actually thought “wow, I am going to die right now”. Thankfully our guide was right there, he jumped off our elephant (right on to my neck again which I surely thought was broken by this point) and pulled me out from under the elephant. I was so scared. A part of me wanted to pull out my inner child and swim to the shore and just cry but the bigger part of me won and I timidly crawled back onto my elephant only this time holding on for dear life every time his massive body shook. So yeah, an elephant sat on my head and I survived, unfortunately I have a pretty messed up neck to prove it.

The day was incredible, it was so much fun. I am so thankful that I know how amazing these experiences are. I cannot count how many times during the day I thought “wow, how magical is it that I am just playing with an elephant right now” and magical it was! The ride, playing with the elephant, the tour guide who was on his toes, the scenery, even my scary experience, all of it just made my day so special. And so as always I am having a blast here in Thailand and loving all of my new adventures!

My day in jail with the inmates...

In the ladies prison in Chiang Mai, there is a rehabilitation program that I had heard about so today it was my mission to check it out. In the prison there is a restaurant, a café, hair dressers, massage therapists, and a few other practicing trades. The services are all provided to the public by the inmates as part as a rehabilitation, reintegration program and I was really interested to see how it was run.

I was quite surprised to see that the prison property is in the heart of Chiang Mai and has a radius of a few blocks. Throughout these blocks I saw many woman inmates walking around from building to building. They were not in cuffs, they did not have prison guards following them, there was no wired fence, watchtower, or any sort of system keeping them within the prison boundaries. They would take laundry from one building to another or walk across the street to the prison canteen, all of it on their own or while chatting away with fellow inmates. The freedom floored me. I couldn’t decide if it was a sign of trust or a scary sign that the ladies knew the consequences all too well to even think about messing around. Either way, after watching dozens of ladies roaming the streets it was clear they have a fairly good unspoken understanding of their own little prison system and no one was stepping out of line.

These programs are fairly debatable as to whether or not they are productive to the inmates, the prison, and the community. Some say it is wonderful, it is a program that is teaching skills to the inmates so they have other means to income once they are released (one of the prison guards I spoke to today said the majority of the women are in jail because of drug dealing/smuggling), others say it is a way for the jail to have modern day slaves raking in a bunch of money for them. Some say it is a degrading show-and –tell type program, others believe regardless of whether or not it is a choice for the women they put themselves in this position and they should have to work, be productive, and earn money for the community. Although the ladies didn’t say much about their thoughts on the program they did seem to really be enjoying it. Ive gotten a few massages now and this environment was much more inviting than anywhere else I have been. The ladies were making jokes, they were all very very nice, and not only going out of their way to make me comfortable but also enjoying one another’s company by giving each other massages, doing each other’s hair, and laughing away the whole time.

I decided to get a massage since it is my latest addiction around here. I went into a fairly big white room that had five or six nice blue Thai massage beds and about a dozen leather foot massaging chairs. The room smelt of delicious tiger balm and tea, and actually felt much more comfortable and inviting than I imagined it too. At first there were two Thai men getting a massage but when they were finished it was me, five female inmates, and no prison guard in site (surprisingly I was in the room for an hour and not once did a guard even come in to check on us). Me and some of the ladies were having a pretty good conversation about my travels, where I was from, and all that fun surface jazz but when it came to questions about the program and how long they had been doing it none of them could understand English.

So my lady was a big mammer-jammer. She had the kindest smile but the toughest hands and she turned my back into putty within a half hour, it was amazing. She was pulling me, twisting me, and bending me in ways I thought my body could never go. She did this thing where she laid behind me, I sat on her feet then she bent me backwards, lifted her knees and pulled my feet and arms back (so I was doing this weird stretchy backwards arch thing over top of her body). When she brought me down I was sitting in between her legs and she gave me a big hug (like full out head resting on my back) and told me how pretty I was. Soon the other ladies chimed in giving me complements on my body, my flexibility, and my “perfect beauty”. Now you would think these are complements that a girl wants to hear but for some stranngee reason they just weren’t peeking my interest at the time. In all honestly the ladies were just being nice and had no ill intentions at all, but come on, tell me that’s not awkward? Out came the most uncomfortable laugh/giggle/noise thing that I had ever heard myself make and with that I stood up, thanked the ladies and was on my way.

Im not sure what to think about the program, I wish I could have spoken to the ladies about it more so I knew how they felt about it, but from what I did see it seemed to be really beneficial and something that the inmates enjoyed doing. It was a really neat experience and I am very glad I did it. The ladies were wonderful to me and my massage was incredible. I am leaving to Pai tomorrow but when I come back through town I will definitely be hitting the prison back up again!

C'ya Cambodia, its been a treat!

Today I arrived back in Thailand and its funny cause it felt so familiar coming back. I like that while we were here we had a little routine, we knew our area fairly well, and we settled in quite nice. So it was great to be dropped off in the backpacker area and instead of staying around or wondering what to do next we just hoped on our bus and headed to our hosts house. It was nice, especially after nearly fourteen hours on a non-air-conditioned bus (have I mentioned yet that I hate transportation here). I am now showered up and sitting out on the balcony catching up on my emails and blogs, and enjoying the sound of the pounding rain and roaring thunder.

Cambodia was wonderful. It was so nice to go there for a while, relax in Phnom Penh and then go about seeing some of the country. Even though I complain about transportation, I really do enjoy all the driving we did around Cambodia; it definitely felt like we were seeing the true colors of the country. Driving down the bumpy roads filled with irrationally sized potholes, watching the world pass by while momentarily peering into the lives of the village people, and watching the landscapes change from moment to moment, it really is just amazing.

Life here is so different. A typical village is fairly small and usually runs along the side of the road rather than in a chunk (so they can use the most of all their land). You see some children dressed in uniforms heading about to school, but more times than not you see kids working their home stores, fishing or farming, lying in hammocks and riding their bikes. Most children in the villages are not privileged enough to go to school (especially the girls), their role is to be equal members of the family regardless of age which means they need to be working just as much as everyone else.

Today I saw I pig as we were driving by one of the villages. It was the fattest and biggest pig I have ever seen in Cambodia (normally the animals are fearfully thin) I couldnt help but smile at the farmer and give a little prayer of thanks for their success. It was only thirty years ago when the Khmer Rouge took over and brutally tortured and killed over a quarter of Cambodia’s population; the devastation is still very apparent in many ways. Almost any person you speak too was a part of the war and greatly affected by what went on. Through the poverty, lack of education, corruption, and current politics, the Khmer Rouge is still very much a part of that country and it is difficult to witness.

Cambodia was great, it was so interesting. I will miss the beautiful country that really did make my mind swirl with so many thoughts. The starving cows wandering town, the dozens and dozens of kids riding their bikes home from school holding on to one another’s bicycles or the back of the tuk tuks and stealing a free ride, the oh-so-delicious fruit shakes that I daily divulged in, the piles of garbage lining the streets everywhere reminding me how blessed I am, the endless moto drivers begging me to take their bikes, the children running up to you in excitement eager to practice English, the women walking past graciously offering their kindest smile, the hammocks to cuddle into on every light post, porch, or pole…so, so many things I enjoyed about Cambodia. I am very grateful I was able to visit that country, but im not gonna lie, I was also pretty grateful when I was able to leave.

Luck or hard work, potato or patato...

Alright, can someone please tell me why so many people want to try and make you feel guilty for traveling and enjoying life? Ever since I left I have had a fairly consistent flow of “wow your sooo lucky”, “well isn’t your life tough”, and a bunch more blah, blah, blahs. Do they really think that it was luck? Do they know that I did not just wake up one day with a large amount of cash in my bank that I actually had to earn money and be smart about saving it for many years. I don’t get it, why are people haters like that? I just want to scream back, yeah as a matter of fact my life IS freakin great, it’s a riot actually, I am indeed very lucky, and no life isn’t too hard right now actually its pretty much a breeze.

But I guess that would be a lie. I mean yeah my life is great by sure it comes with its struggles and sacrifices, it isn’t all roses. Tiffany always tells me for every no there is a yes, and to every yes there is a no. So yes I decided to travel but that also means I said no to settling into my own life and getting some sort of routine back (which believe it or not I do really desire). I also said no to saving money (like I have done very well at since I started earning a paycheck) and I said yes to spending my savings and watching my account drain out bit by bit. I said yes to meeting new people and making new friends but no to spending time with my best friends and family and even missing out on some pretty big events at home. So as with everyone in their life, my world does indeed include some sacrificing in many different areas to be where I am now, but it is what I have chosen for myself and I quite enjoy it.

The year before this came with a lot of struggles and pain…A LOT. So many people wrote me in support, uplifted me in prayer, and sent their wishes that things get better. I have realized throughout a few tough situations, life does NOT miraculously get better…ever. If you want life to get better, you need to MAKE life get better. You need to work on changing your attitude, work through your feelings, do things that uplift you, focus on yourself for a while…whatever it is that helps, you need to do it cause when life gets down, when bad things happen, they will not just fix themselves. Ive tried really hard to do that, to take what is negative in my world, to compile my pains and heal through them. Part of that process for me has been to be out on my own for a while, to have time to spend with my head and my heart without the distractions of everyday life or the influence of other people. I have decided to travel because it makes my heart sing, I have decided to see new things because it is important for me to not be stuck in a bubble, to get out and explore.

I guess my point is, luck is very rare. Its like saying “good luck” to someone before they write an exam. Its not luck, they either studied hard and learnt the content or they didn’t which means they will either pass or fail, no luck involved. My life is not luck. I have worked hard to be where I am. My wish is for all the people in my life to do the same, to take luck out of the equation and start working towards designing your life in order to make you happy. Whatever your passion, whatever your healing path, do it, take “luck” into your own hands a design a beautiful life for yourself…its worth it.

Cambodia Contemplations…

Written October 13th ‘09

Today was a big day, it was heavy. Lots of things have been going on and lots has been on my mind but today it compounded quite a bit. Today, I decided that I don’t think I will stay here, I tried to figure out what I will do next, I visited a horrific genocide museum, almost ripped my hair out by saying no to so many tuk tuks, and witnessed way too much lose at the hands of drugs. It was just one of those long days.

So first things first, I think (being the operative word as always) that I am going to keep going and not stay in Cambodia. I am excited to see Cambodia as a traveler but im not digging the living life here gig. I read a bit about Cambodia before coming here and one of the constants was that women should not walk alone at night. Me, well being me, figured all those girls were just being babies and I would be just fine. I was wrong. In the backpacker areas you can totally do it, but im not living in those areas and not too interested in visiting all that often. I have walked around a bit at night and I don’t feel safe, nothing has happened but Im beginning to think that is more luck than norm. Even if it is one hundred percent safe, I don’t feel that way, and it takes a lot to put me out of my comfort zone enough to make me admit it.

I can hack a lots of things and a lot of places, its not that I cant do that here but I am just not interested. I don’t want to “hack” anything right now, im looking for a nice and easy calm life at the moment and I don’t know if Cambodia will offer that to me. I want to have some fun, have a social life, go out for coffee in the evening and have some quiet time just for me (it is insanely loud here, either that or I am getting really old). I came to the other side of the world to relax and I keep forgetting that fact lately. But really, who is kidding who? One moment I want to stay in Asia and work, the next moment I want to go home unpack my bags and settle in, and the next im thinking about moving to BC or heading somewhere else. Ahh I wish my mind wasn’t constantly in overdrive.

Today two guys in their early twenties left my building the same time as me. Both of them fairly good looking, both looking pretty straight edge. But as my eyes ripped them apart (like I find myself doing with most foreign men around here) I stumbled down to their arms and feet which were bruised and bloodied with track marks. It broke my heart. Probably two guys coming to Cambodia for a little vacation, traveling, and partying and they took it too far once and happened to get stuck. My mother often likes to remind me of how worried she gets about me traveling, and instantly I thought about their mothers, their families, how they are probably a little excited and a little worried about their sons going off to travel. How they have no idea that while they imagine him posing with Buddas and temples, he is really locked up in his house shooting heroin and keeping company by a revolving door of prostitutes.

India was a place with so much poverty, too much pain, and too much corruption, I have never experienced anything to that extent. It was addicting though because in the midst of the mess there was such a joy. The same children whose parents dug their own childs eyes out, or cut off their legs just so they could bring home more money were also the children that had the biggest smiles and the deepest laughter. That attitude encouraged me that the mess my eyes see, isn’t such a mess when my heart feels something so much more beautiful. Here it isn’t the same, and when there isn’t laughter everything else seems to magnify. The smell of bodily waste on the street suddenly becomes stronger, the mass amounts of garbage lining the streets is more frustrating the step over, the constant noise and movement of the city is more distracting, and the endless empty stomachs begging for food seem like an impossible feat. Maybe it is me, maybe it is my attitude, possibly it is my heart telling me I belong somewhere else, or perhaps it is my excuse, but either way when I flip the coin lately I am hoping Cambodia isn’t my tails.

Oh and for the record, tonight as I write this I literally just watched the man living on the floor above me (floor three) pass down a bucket on a rope to the ground for his dealer to put drugs in because he was too high to walk down the stairs. Keep in mind I am in a decent area with one of the few “secure” buildings around. So yeah I can “do” Cambodia but quite frankly I am more interested in traveling it and then moving on. When I actually figure out my plans, ill fill you in, until then I will continue to file through my endless options and hopefully come up with something soon.

Adjusting In...

In just a couple days so far Cambodia is a world of difference from Thailand. I expected them to be different in many ways but I also expected way more similarities than there are.

It is a dirty place. Now don’t get me wrong, dirty can be great, sometimes there is nothing better actually, but sometimes when you go for a walk down one road and your back is covered in mud then it gets a little old. Today we went to a market and I was racing to get out of it, it was a vegetarian’s worst nightmare. Blocks long of stands under a huge tarp with endless amounts of meat, all of it cut, all of it old, covered in bugs and flies, and dripping all sorts of liquids all over my feet. Live skinned frogs, fish cut wide open, snakes, full pigs heads, cows tongues, nasty nasty meat sitting there for days sometimes weeks on end. There were piles of garbage in every aisle, sometimes up to your knee, and the smell was unbelievable. It was hard to imagine that this is where most of the restaurants are buying their food for all the delicious meals we are eating every day.

For sex lovers, drug addicts, pedophiles, party animals, or gamblers, Cambodia is the place for you. It is Vegas minus the money and glamour; anything you want you can have…at a very small cost. The moment I walk out of my hostel in the evenings I have men surrounding me, first they ask if I want to buy pot and within seconds they are running down the list of the endless highs I can purchase, cocaine, opiates, heroin, ecstasy, anything I want. How about taking home a women, nope not interested there, well can a child entice you then? This is literal people, ANYTHING you want you can have, it will cost you nothing but somebody else their life. The hostel I am in has a sign posted about not doing drugs here because it will ruin your life; I cannot imagine how many travelers came here for a party and end up leaving their spirits behind.

And men, don’t get me started on men! I have hardly looked at one white man in the last month and not felt a boiling hate for who they are and what they are doing in this continent. The trail of damage and pain that the western men have left behind is unfathomable. Married men, fathers, grandfathers, business men, political figures, men from every walk of life coming to these countries to find themselves a cheap virgin. They are freakin proud of it too, they have no shame attached as they parade around their purchase for the night. They even have the audacity to act like the heros , like they are at least giving the girls good money so they have a chance at a future or giving them their first and only amazing sexual experience, like the girls have been waiting all their lives to have the pleasure of crawling into bed with a foreigner. It leaves me speechless and angry, it makes me cry, it makes me want to save the world.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are a million wonderful things about the country as well. I have fell in love with certain things already and I have also accepted when you go to a new country that is so different from your own, it takes a period of adjustment and often times your attitude isn’t the best in the first day or two. One thing I have loved is the children. I have fallen in love with Cambodian children; they are so absolutely beautiful and very cute. Many of them are learning English (whether through work or school) and all of them love to practice it with you. You would be hard pressed to walk by a child and not get a huge smile with a big hello to follow. I love the attitude here as well. Everyone is so friendly and they always want to just hang out and chat or help you in some way. Last night I was outside on my computer and a lady came up and asked to go through my pictures. She sat there for a half and hour giggling away as she enjoyed the snapshots of my latest adventures. It was very neat to share that with her and something totally new for me.

I cannot wait to discover all the other beautiful gifts that Cambodia has to offer. I am certain my time here will be quite the adventure and I am sure I will learn not only a lot about the country but also about myself and my limits. Now I just need to get my little butt adjusted!

In Cambodia!

Written: October 5th '09

Yesterday I arrived in Cambodia and it has already been such an adventure. Ive always found crossing boarders so fascinating; it is amazing to me that every time you cross that invisible line the differences are very apparent. The moment we crossed into Cambodia everything changed; landscape, cost, people, culture, it was all suddenly so different and so captivating.

Crossing the border itself was extremely frustrating. We were warned in advance that the customs officers and police are very corrupt but that was an understatement. Leaving Trat we took a mini bus for a couple hours down a small, rough, dirt road to Koh Kong, the moment our bus stopped we were surrounded by people wanting to sell us this or take us there. The attention, begging, and aggressiveness was quite overwhelming, especially once we stepped into Cambodia. Indeed the customs officers were difficult to deal with. You walk up to this old stucco building and knock on a glass sliding window, I had to double take a few times to make sure we were indeed at customs about to talk to the professionals who regulate who comes and goes out of the country. Our customs officer was a miserable old lady who said nothing to us, not one question regarding why we were coming, how long we would stay, or what kind of work we would be doing, instead she held out her hand and said fifty dollars each. Right away we said no way cause we knew the price was supposed to be twenty five so she asked us to wait while she closed the window to “think” about our counter offer. This went back and forth for almost an hour where we finally convinced her that thirty each would be fair (ten bucks for her pocket). Cambodia is still poorer than both Mongolia and El Salvador and a police officer only makes thirty five US dollars a month so to them five dollars is huge and when they are blatantly talking about how much they get to take home for themselves and whether or not that is worth them letting you in the country then it gets quite frustrating. Needless to say we managed to find our way into Cambodia, a few dollars short, a little down on patients, but very high on excitement.

Cambodia was pouring rain when we arrived and since Koh Kong was twenty kilometers away, we hoped on a couple motorcycles and had a crazy ride into the city. Between the rain, the roads, the mud, the driver, and my big ass bag I had no clue if we would actually make it in to town. I was pleasantly surprised when we did and our driver dropped us off at a really nice, cheap (key word) guest house that had a pool! Koh Kong is supposed to have one of the nicest waterfalls around and I was so excited to have a pool I stayed in all night and all day so I could swim the whole time; you couldn’t drag me out of there, it was just what I needed.

Today we took a bus to Phnom Penh. I really do hate transportation around here. The roads were so bad (the potholes are insane) that we were maxing out at 30 km/h for most the trip. Again, a drive that would have taken a couple hours at home was another dreadfully long day in a clammy bus with blaring loud Cambodian Karaoke music. We finally arrived around dinner and have spent the night trying to get comfortable and learning a bit about the city. Adjusting here could prove to be a bit more difficult than I was hoping but fingers crossed it’s not too bad. I guess the next few days will be spent looking for places to live and trying to find a job…wish me luck.