Thursday, January 29, 2009

Mexican Memories...





So I am almost home from my trip and I am loving the memories I have made this past week. Tiffany and I decided to escape for a week and leave for Mexico to clear our hearts, and have some fun. Traveling more was a goal of mine for ‘09 and I figured even if I wasn’t going far, going away was good enough for me. Cabo San Lucas was our destination and I am so glad we decided to take a week out of our lives to go away to enjoy ourselves.

Our trip to Cabo was so much fun. We packed a lot of adventure into a short period of time and got to do everything we had wanted. Our first day was amazing; relaxing on the beach, soaking up the sun, and to top it off getting a massage in the sand. I could not have designed it better, it was a wonderful way to start a week and a great sign of what was going to lie ahead. Throughout the rest of the week Tiffany and I became addicted to bartering at the markets (it has to be one of my all time favorite things to do), sleeping on the beach, trying out foreign tastes, meeting new people, and soothing our souls.

One of our bigger adventures was renting a car and touring the coast to see some of the other places we were hoping to visit. Starting in Cabo we headed up to Todos Santos where Tiff spotted a beautiful secluded beach right before we hit the town. As soon as we stepped on the sand we were as giddy as children. It was one of the most magnificent landscapes I have ever seen. I hope to have that moment forever etched in my mind. There was not a footprint in sight for miles and miles, we were all alone to soak up the beauty of "Gods incredible imagination". The water was rough and the air had a mild chill to it but the overall picture was incredible - it paralleled greatly to my life, or at least how I see it. As much as I loved it I was not fully enjoying it and Tiffany being the angel she is and knowing my heart the way she does pulled me into the water to splash and have FUN...to laugh. There are places in the world that speak to you and that happened to be a place for me; it told me I will be alright and reassured me that I am growing so beautifully. When we left there we headed to the town of Todos Santos, famous for the Eagles Hotel California and being dubbed the "magical town of art". We wandered the galleries and had lunch then kept going to La Paz. There we headed to a beach called Balandra (on the Sea of Cortez) and once again my breath was taken away. It was incredible, the water was turquoise blue and there were mountains surrounding us. Unfortunately it was very windy and much colder than the Pacific Ocean side. Our hearts were still at the first beach so rather than continuing over to San Jose we turned around to watch the sunset and fill our hearts with one more memory.

Another amazing day was visiting Lovers Island and Divorce beach; one of the few places in the world where two oceans meet. There is a beach connecting the two oceans, there are rocks covered in seals squealing away, and colorful fish swimming all around. We found a current where the two oceans collide and it was so powerful, I found it fascinating. Our last day in Cabo was my sisters birthday. We celebrated. I have been with my sister for almost every single birthday. Mom’s conventions were typically during Tiff’s birthday so my parents would be out of town and Tiffany and I would celebrate together. Although it is her day, it is a special day for me as well. It floods my mind with memories of her growing up and the celebrations we had together, usually just the two of us. It was so special for me to be with her again this year. I was so proud of her for making her day a day to relax and have fun. I know her heart was heavy, all it took at times was looking at here from across the beach to know the birthday wish she was dreaming about, but she did it, she pulled though her first birthday as a Mom in a graceful yet powerful way. We started the day with a few gifts and then headed out on our snorkeling tour and whale watch. It was such a fun afternoon. The whales was all encompassing for me. I found them absolutely captivating. Although I have seen whales many times before, it was the first time that I had ever taken the time to think about the magnitude of there size or the size of the ocean for that matter. Our snorkeling was a blast, aside from the bread the tour guides were throwing at us so that the seagulls would swarm all around us, including on our heads. It is true that some memories are ingrained in your mind forever because although snorkeling was good, it did not even compare to snorkeling as a child with my Dad and sister in Hawaii. When we got back on the boat the birthday celebration began and although my sister isnt known to throw back the tour guides were not taking no for an answer. For the rest of the afternoon we hit up the markets, went for a delicious seafood dinner, and had our first and only night at the clubs (and yes I even danced). It was a fabulous way to end our holiday and a precious twenty-four hours that lifted my heart.

I am so happy that I decided to take this trip. It is amazing how much growing can be done in a matter of one week. It is equally amazing to find out that you can love someone so much deeper after loving them already for twenty-three years. I found a renewed passion and I am excited to get back home to work on it. I felt my heart lift and I am so indebted that God choose now to help me along with that gift. I felt relaxed, re-energized, and really and truly enjoyed myself...it was wonderful.

If I could take away one thing from Mexico it would be that I am blessed. I am blessed to live in a country that is beautiful, clean, and safe. I am blessed to have clean water. I am blessed to have the ability to pick up and travel essentially whenever I want. I am grateful that I have the gift to choose my life path and my career based on what my heart desires. I am blessed to have a supportive family - to have two parents and two sisters that are my greatest gift from above. I am just blessed period.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Children really are God's greatest gift...


I have discovered that I have many wishes...too many wishes.  I always thought (or maybe tried to convince myself) that I was content with whatever my life held at that particular time, apparently this is not the case.  Ever since I was young I had a fantasy that I would find my mysterious genie who would miraculously grant me three wishes (and an extra one just because I was so special). I would spend hours on end pondering what my wishes would be...the ability to read minds, to travel anywhere at the snap of my fingers, to save the world...I was a dreamer.  I now think one of my wishes would be being happy; twenty four hours-a-day sincerely happy.


This weekend I had Conner and Carter for a few days and as always it was so much fun.  On Saturday night I took the kids bowling and had a great time teaching them to bowl, being goofy, and laughing our little hearts out.  The games were a touch slow but I was so proud of both of them for not wanting to use the bumpers at all.  Besides, its like Conner said, "we did better than nothing".  When we got home I tucked the boys into bed, a few hours later I heard some noise coming from their bedroom and went in to check on them.  My heart melted.  Conner was fast asleep laughing his little heart away.  He was telling stories, singing, and laughing a deep soulful laugh that brings joy to my heart.  I caught a bit of this episode on video (and unfortunately cut it short when I got greedy and turned on the closet light), the first 16 seconds or so is of nothing and it is completely dark so you cant see anything but you really don't need too when this is what you hear...



My wish is to be this happy.  To hold my stomach laughing even while Im fast asleep.  I am eternally thankful to experience moments like this when I see how happy my bugs are.  I am so grateful their hearts sing with joy.  


Friday, January 09, 2009

Farewell 2008, Welcome 2009!

I am officially bidding goodbye to 2008. At the beginning of the year I would have never imagined my year would have turned out the way it had. I was still mourning the loss of my Aunt when I soon lost her Mother, my Grandmother, in only a few short weeks to cancer. I had to face another hard reality when I heard Dad and Cancer in the same sentence yet again. I also lost a perfect little niece after just a few short weeks of life...once again to cancer. I felt as though, one more loss, one step in the wrong direction was just going to make my heart explode into million pieces. I hope to never relive 2008 however I hope to never forget the blessings that came with it as well....

However difficult my past year has been, I cannot forget the good. Yes my Grandma passed away, however I was given the gift of "goodbye" with her; a treasure that most people are not lucky enough to receive. I saw my Grandmother completely different in those last few weeks; her wisdom poured out of her like a gift she knew I was so eagerly waiting to open. She shared stories, memories, taught me unforgettable life lessons, loved me like only a Grandma can, and taught me to laugh until the very end. Yes my father got cancer, but he also survived cancer, he fought cancer, his spirit was changed by cancer. His cancer reminded me how much I love each and every one of my family members and how blessed I am to have them. I was reminded that my Dad, my childhood hero was still and always will be that big, strong, man that I have forever looked up too. And although I also lost my niece last year, I gained her as well. I thank God I was able to meet that little angel and spend the time with her that I was blessed with. I am so thankful that she was so special to Jesus that He wanted us to meet her as well. I can just imagine how proud He was when Kiya was created, I see Him as a giddy child that just couldn't keep that little bundle of love all to himself, I am eternally gratefully that He blessed me with the gift of my niece who I will have to forever treasure in my heart.

2008 allowed me to search for myself more and fall even deeper in love with me. I took time off to enjoy myself and my life again, my sister Christa gave birth to my first nephew Maverick, I was swept off my feet and wrapped in love by an amazing man, I went on five different adventures around the world, I moved into a new house and began to make it my home, I fell in love with art again which reignited passion within myself. I had been blessed and I am thankful that God was gracious enough to give me the gifts that made me smile when I look back on my year.

I am eagerly welcoming 2009 for so many reasons. I am turning over a new leaf. This year I will smile more, I will enjoy myself and my world to a greater degree, I will challenge myself to new adventures, I will show more people my art, I will step out of my boundaries, I will try something new, I will be vulnerable, I will spend more time with God, I will relax, I will taste something foreign, I will set goals and keep them, I will be more positive, I will shave my legs more often, I will chip down my wall, I will meet new people, I will love deeper, I will work on freeing myself of my past, I will laugh more often. I will....

This blog is an opportunity for me to journal my adventures of 2009. I will share my ups (and possibly even my downs), I will log where I go, what new opportunities I arrive upon, and what makes my soul sing. Enjoy!