Coming home...

So I’m in London now and have one day until I am back at home. That wonderful, awkward word...home. I hate going back. Of course I am excited and cannot wait to see my family but it is so hard to leave. It is hard to put away the travelling life, to walk back into reality desperately trying to hold on to the spirit that s grown and knowing it doesn’t take long until “home” breaks it down. Crap I shouldn’t write blogs in moments like this.
I am so so grateful and blessed for my last little while of seeing this beautiful world on my own. India gave me passion, a little place in the world that made me fall hard and desperately in love. India stole my heart and I am still not sure what I will do about it. London gave me reality and a quick reminder that I must choose my world carefully in order to be the girl my heart is guiding me to be. Ireland gave me stillness. It gave me beauty that was so unimaginable where I literally felt my words slip away and my mind become so calm. Spain was my freedom. It gave me a community and atmosphere to let go and enjoy. France left me thirsty with a real desire to go out and quench that thirst, to find undiscovered land in my mind again and again. And Germany brought me a piece of me again along with a pinch of shame. Shame for not teaching myself more (history, geography, languages) and me in the sense of being just a bit more raw and a lot more attentive to my adventurous spirit. Each country just taught me so much.
One thing that is difficult about going home is telling people about your trip. Some people don’t care, some don’t understand, and the ones that do care and do want to know about it leave me tongue tied and unable to condense or communicate all that went on. Overall my trip was beautiful and reckless in so many different ways, I’m not sure if I can explain it any better. There were times I felt cracked open and spit out, then times where I’ve never been so sure of myself before.
Throughout this last trip I became really good friends with myself again and also made some new beautiful friends along the way. Oh my goodness did they teach me. Each one of them like little angels perched up and waiting for my arrival, already aware of the gifts they needed to bring to my spirit.
Each step I took in a new country was beautiful. How was I chosen to be this lucky girl that gets to wander the earth and sing happy songs?
Soooo to answer many of your questions about when will I come home, settle down, and get back to reality. Well, I have my own concept of all those questions and I have a funny feeling my view is different than many of yours (what else is new). Settling down for me is settling my heart and I have no idea where that will be, but wherever it is it will be my home because home for me always has been literally where my heart is. Calgary, BC, Thailand, India, its all up in the air right now but I will “settle” at “home” in one of those places soon. And reality, well, I don’t have the technical description in my pocket but the way I think of the word is what is real. What is real in my world is a passion to travel, to discover, and have spice in my life. I fully intend on continuing to discover my reality cause quite frankly I love it. My reality, my settling down is beautiful, fun, and realistic, AND its what I choose for my own path. There have been so many people say to me it is time to come home and get a job, get serious with life. Hello? Anyone know my past? I’ve been “serious” since I was WAY too young, Im just enjoying it now. I sure hope that for as many people that I have had tell me that, I have just as many that pinch me and get me going when I have sat still for way too long. Discovery is fun, you should try...