Home for the holidays

I have been home from my trip now for just over a week and although ive promised an update I havent yet to have time to do it. My week has flown by me. It has been an intoxicating, exciting time and I haven’t even wanted or had energy to sit down long enough to write.

Fearful, bummed, resistant, contemplative; stepping onto the plane in China I had a million feelings about returning to Canada and to be honest most were negative. I had such an amazing time on my travels and I was eating up life over there, I wasn't ready to put that behind me and my anxiety was growing as I wondered about what my next steps would be when I returned. But somehow when I landed in Calgary and stepped outside into the cold it wasn't as bitter as I imagined and I felt I could breathe easier than I had before leaving. It really was an answer to a prayer.

I came home and spent a week in Calgary and now I am in Arizona visiting my family and spending the holidays here with them. I feel lighter here right now. I am excited to be back and so happy that I made the decision to be with my family for Christmas and New Years.

I cant even explain how amazing it felt to come home and sleep in my own bed. To breathe clean air, to drive to the Hat and visit my healing Grandpa, to admire the wide open space that this country is spoiled with. The endless coffees and catch ups with friends has made me feel so spoiled, and the family gatherings that make me feel at home. Eating cheese again, going grocery shopping and home cooked food has been a special treat too (it is possible I may have a pound or two to lose in the New Year). Living out of a closet rather than a suitcase, having a warm house to come home too, the convenience of my own cell phone (that is already getting way too racked up), listening to the radio, and the familiarity of a city that doesnt take effort to discover. All of it, simply all of it has been such a treat.

So much changed while I was away and I am eagerly discovering all those changes. My best friend brought a child into the world, I came back to a beautiful friend refreshed and alive again and unfortunately found another good friend grasping for his life once more, my grandfather went through major surgery and is recovering well, my sister moved to a new province, my niece began talking at a crazy rate and my nephew grew into a moose. So so many changes, yet my favorite one would have to be the change I feel inside myself now that im back. So yeah, im in love with being home for the holidays and cant wait for this next week.